Thursday, January 7, 2010

Martha Stewart Is Crazy

I was eating a piece of Dove chocolate the other day and after popping it into my mouth I stopped to read the message inside the wrapper. It was a suggestion from Martha Stewart. It said to include your children in holiday preparations by letting them write a newsletter to send to friends and family.

Wow. I can only imagine what our newsletter would look like if I let my kids write it. It probably would not be the type of thing that could be read in polite company.

But, that made me wonder what Martha's daughter would say if she were given free reign to write their family newsletter? Would she echo Martha's image of home and hearth? Or would she say her mother was crazy?

I became convinced that Martha Stewart was dangerously unbalanced several years ago while watching her television program and observing her obsessive system for cleaning and storing her table linens. With a completely straight face, she instructed viewers on the proper techniques for washing and folding the linens, complete with tissue paper (which had a purpose that I have forgotten). The most disturbing part of the show was the faraway dreamy look she got in her eyes when she described how she coveted the linen closets of a family for whom she once babysat. I fully expected her to begin drooling as she described in detail the many storage cabinets and how she had always wanted to have linen cabinets like those.

It's not all craziness in Martha's world though; a few years back, when she was promoting her bed linens for Kmart, she actually starred in a video demonstrating the proper way to make a bed. My sister took our children into the store and made them watch it. I don't know that it helped. Our kids never learned to make a bed with a top sheet so tight you could bounce a quarter on it, but I don't blame Martha. Her instruction was flawless.

No comments:

Post a Comment