And So On

I know I am a terrible blogger. It's a good thing I'm not trying to cultivate followers b/c I'd never have any. No one would wait a year between posts.

My life has been full of struggles over the last few years but I think I have turned a corner. I feel hopeful somehow and like I am climbing back up from this pit.

My mother has passed away and this has been one of the saddest events of my life so far. I miss her so much. When I think about her, I always think of how she felt when I hugged her. She was soft and squeezable and it is that physical, tactile feel that I have when I think of her.

Can I say how glad I am that I had her for my nearly 60 years? I am grateful for the time I spent with her and grateful for the trips we took together. I have satisfaction knowing that I made some of her wishes come true.

So I have been working through my grief . I have gone through the shock (although there are times I still can't believe she is gone), anger, sadness, etc. and now I think I am moving into the acceptance part. I have just been so sad for so long and now I feel that lifting.

And good things are happening. Anne is graduating on May 11. She has struggled and her victory encourages me. Sarah is graduating on May 11 as well and moving to Greensboro. Rachel seems to be getting along well after a difficult period of time. Neal is Neal. But that is ok.

I like where I work and am thankful for the job and even though it is very stressful right now I feel as if I have risen above it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I just hope it isn't a train.